Absolute proof from a Flat Earth Astronaut

I’m dedicating this post to the memory of Mike Hughes.

(He’s not dead yet. But by the Laws of Darwin, he will be very soon…)

See, Mike (aka Mad Mike) – a limo driver from California – is a fervent Flat Earther. One of too many realityphobes who reject the ball earth “theory” on the grounds that Australia hasn’t fallen off yet. And, who don’t believe in science – because the phrase “science fiction” proves it’s all made up.

Before you ask, yes – Mike is real.

Anyway – in a (doomed) bid to prove he’s not a wackjob, and the earth really is a giant pancake…Mike is building a DIY rocket.

Oh yes, he is.

And tomorrow…here’s the good bit…he’s gonna launch himself into space!

This pic is meant to show the Launchpad, so I can only guess there’s a big catapult just out of shot. And for a space helmet – well, maybe his goldfish has got a spare bowl? (Just a hunch!)

So. Up in orbit, what’s Mikey’s plan?

Well natch, he’ll whip out his little space cam and capture “photographic proof” – pics that’ll finally call BS on Columbus, NASA and all.

Oh Mikey. Mikey, Mikey, Mikey. Where did it all go wrong?

The sad thing is, he’ll never find out that the earth is round. Because he’ll only get 10 feet above it before his rocket explodes and splatters his tiny brain on a nearby grassy knoll.

So he’ll go (in multiple bits) to his grave, convinced that he was right.

But could anyone reason with him? Hell, no. He’s chosen self-destruction.

But you know what? For all we mock him, there’s a bit of Mike in us all. We’ve all got our own little quirks, that count as self-destruction.

Refusal to diet. Or quit drinking. Or plan for retirement. Or buy a smoke alarm. Or protect a PC. Or have that wisdom tooth out. Okay, they’re not as dramatic…or as stupid…as Mike’s little plan. But they’re still the same thing: a blind refusal to listen to reason.

Here cometh the lesson: whatever you sell, quit trying to win the argument with facts and figures.

The wrong prospect won’t listen to reason in any circumstances. And even a good prospect needs an emotional tug up front, before they’ll open their mind to “the science bit”.

If you don’t believe me, go talk to Mike.

But I’d do it quickly. Because something tells me he won’t be around for long…

FOOTNOTE: Tonight, let’s raise a glass to Mike (or The Late Mike if you read this on Saturday). For he gave his life to remind us all, logic is a limited weapon.

Meet the Author

James Daniel

You might not know who James is...but you've probably read his copy. Through high street clients like Hidden Hearing, or big gun marketers like Jonathan Jay and Chris Cardell. His words are out there, pulling in new business every month. What else? Well his books, Do You Talk Like That at Home? and Direct Mail 101 will help you squeeze out more sales. Oh yeah - and his next book Before You JFDI will help you plan your next campaign. Get on the list for a free advance copy here.

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