I ain’t no spammer, y’know. Your privacy matters to me…

OK, I’m not saying I’m up half the night worrying about it and concocting new ingenious ways to save you from spies and hackers and aliens and other evil cyber beasts. I’m not bothered to that extent.

But I have taken some steps to make sure any info you share with me is treated with confidence. I think that’s a happy medium between showing you some respect and losing my grip on reality.

So here’s the deal. If I ask you to provide certain bits of info that help me to ID you and offer the kind of personal touch that fills you with a warm fuzzy tingle, then you can be sure it’s all in line with this lovely privacy statement.

Collecting Info

Some pages will ask you for details, like these:

* Your name
* Company and job title
* Contact details, like a phone number or email address
* Background info on your business and any project you want me to look at

Using info

I’ll use the details you give me to understand your needs, so I can give you a better service. Info might be used for:

* Internal record keeping: so I know what kind of people have been coming here, and why.
* Marketing: the odd email or mailer maybe, but nothing scary like hanging round outside your office. You’ve got to draw the line somewhere.
* Product or service improvement: like adding new ways to make life easier.
* Market research: unlikely, but I might ask you to fill in a survey or quiz you for opinions on this and that.

If you sign up to my mailing list, you’ll receive regular emails from me – typically on a Tuesday and Friday morning – with copy and marketing tips. In line with GDPR regulations, I may ask you from time to time to confirm that you wish to carry on receiving these emails. In addition, you can opt out at any time by clicking the UNSUBSCRIBE link that appears at the foot of every email I send.


Unauthorised access and disclosure is a big fat no-no. So I’ve added some physical, electronic and managerial procedures to protect the info I collect from you. Or rather, my web guy did it, cos I wouldn’t have a clue. I’m a writer.

How I use cookies

A cookie, if you didn’t know, is a small file that asks permission to sit on your computer’s hard drive, a bit like a squatter who’s been taught to ask nicely before he moves in. Once you agree, the file is added and the cookie does some clever things, like analysing web traffic and spotting when you visit a particular site. It’s designed to tell web applications what you like and love and hate, so they can respond to you as an individual. (And you are an indvidual – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise).

I use traffic log cookies to identify which pages are being used. This helps me to see if any pages are going down like a lead balloon so I can put things right. Clever stuff. And it only gives me trends, so there’s no personal info there. After the analysis bit, the data is removed from the system. Bye bye.

In case you’re worried, a cookie does not give me access to your computer or any information about you personally, other than the data you choose to share with me. The cookie is not that smart, and I’m not that evil. It’s all good.

Still, you can choose to accept or decline cookies. Most web browsers automatically accept them ‘cos they’re harmless little things, but you can usually modify your browser settings and Say No To Cookies. It’s your right, but switching them off might stop you from taking full advantage of the website.

Links to other websites

Now and then, I might show you links to other sites. I’ve chosen them because I think you’ll find them useful. But be warned, once you’ve clicked a link, you’re out of here – and I’ve got no control over what happens to you out in the big wild web. Out there, I’m not responsible for your privacy or data protection, so if you’re anxious check the other guy’s privacy statement before you delve any deeper.

For full disclosure, I’m affiliated to some of the sites I link to, so if you do business when you get there, I might receive a modest referral fee. If you’re offended by the idea of me getting paid and perhaps think I don’t need to eat like normal human beings, please don’t click. But if you understand that we live in the real world, click away and be happy that I’ve set up a system where everyone stands to gain.

For avoidance of doubt, every single site I link to has been personally vetted, and I do not recommend services or products purely for financial gain. By definition, the link means I believe in the content, product or service that lies on the other side, and would willingly recommend it to my grandmother if she were (a) still with us, and (b) looking for that kind of stuff.

Controlling your personal information

On rare occasions, I might actively send you promotional info about third parties who could offer you something of value or interest. However, I will not sell, distribute or lease your personal info to third parties under any circumstances. Well, you know, unless the police come a-knocking and say I have to ‘cos it’s the law.

Under the Data Protection Act 1998, you’re entitled to request details of the personal info I’m holding, and I’m entitled to charge an admin fee to release the info. If you want to see what I’ve got on you, by all means write to EarthMonkey Media Ltd, Sandringham House, 1-3 Cemetery Road,  Bridgend CF31 1LY. I’ll then confirm the admin fee and wait for you to give me the nod before I release it.

If you believe that any info I’m holding on you is wrong or incomplete, please write to me at the above address, or email james@jamesthecopywriter.co.uk with your amends. I’ll make the changes asap.

And that’s it!

Obviously, the web is changing every day, so I might need to alter this statement now and again. So feel free to come back to this page every year or so.

Don’t bookmark it though, ‘cos that’s a bit sad. There are much better pages out there. I really like the BBC site, and Facebook is quite good too.